10 Stories That Prove Wrestling Is The Wildest Industry EVER
9. The Ultimate Warrior Does Not Simply Eat Food
Sure, wrestlers are phenomenally eccentric.
They willingly bump for a living. They are fated to become thick and or unhinged through repeated head trauma. They, in the '80s and '90s era of national TV stardom, out-partied rock stars with their rampant use of recreational drugs. They existed in a scantily-clad fantasy land in which they, by often refusing to accept the scripted finishes of the author, quite literally lost the plot.
But they're not Hollywood eccentric, are they?
They don't not wash, they don't wear wigs despite having full heads of hair, they don't perform week-long publicity stunts in which they push their "art" in museum residencies. They are more wild and reckless than strange, in performative terms or otherwise. Hollywood and pop music have that genre of out-there behaviour on lock.
Except they don't.
The Ultimate Warrior had a certain phrase when asked for his thoughts on systemic wealth inequality and the sad struggles of marginalised communities: "That's the way *grunting, snorting noises* the cookie crumbles, honey!"
But this phrase, when he uttered it, delighted him into indulging his strange eccentricity. Warrior, because he had to maintain his big straight muscles, didn't eat the cookies he wanted to but rather crumpled them in his hands to release their aroma.
Just eat some sugar you f*cking d*ckhead.