10 Things Everybody Gets Wrong About WWE

7. "[Wrestler X] Should Turn Heel"

Seth Rollins
WWE

Really, WWE should turn every act heel because they are incapable of booking (writing) a halfway tolerable good guy.

It's astonishing.

WWE would make David Attenborough unlikeable with his "Save the world!" catchphrase, and Michael Cole's (Vince McMahon's) insistence on referring to a good, long offensive stretch as "preserving his advantage". You'd all come to resent the Cambridge Conservationist and his smug line readings of fairytales. You'd tell the 93 year-old epitome of mankind to f*ck off for not being CM Punk within months.

This is what the WWE system does: it takes magnetic, charismatic personalities and imposes God-awful promo material complete with sub-John Cena comedy routines onto them. The top WWE babyface is inherently awful. The great paradox is that they become less detestable after hitting somebody with a weapon shot and calling us all c*nts, or something. So of course X should turn heel. They should all turn heel. This will not solve anything.

What people are doing, when they fantasy book a heel turn, is delaying the inevitable. They are watching the pig fly through the air under the impression that they may yet eat it. Seth Rollins is just a little dorky, and maybe Kevin Owens won't encounter a McMahon this time.

It's still good! It's still good!

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Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick (Creative Writing BA Hons) is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over a decade of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential UK institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!