10 Things I Hate About WWE Champion Dean Ambrose

4. His Offence Looks As Weak As A Kitten

dean ambrose
WWE.com

Dean Ambrose is supposed to be violently unhinged, possessed of an unpredictable temperament in and out of the ring. So why is it that he looks like a helium balloon delivering any offence?

There's his terrible, terrible punches, some of the worst I’ve ever seen from a man at his level. Just look at the weak flailing that accompanies his Thesz Press. Apparently it's supposed to be a flurry of hard hitting blows…

Then there’s the fact that his suicide dive is like a feather falling to earth, as he clumsily charges out from between the ropes to gently push his opponent away. A wildman character shouldn't be this godawful at brawling.

It’s an odd disconnect. Ambrose is so old school in his approach to the gimmick and promo aspects of pro wrestling, even keeping kayfabe in press interviews and maintaining character in the locker room, that you’d think he’d be snug like a glove out there. As it stands he’s in danger of floating away and being attacked by birds.

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Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.