10 Things That Would Happen If WWE Put An End To Scripted Promos

4. The Return Of Actual Heat

Mountie Moxley
WWE.com

Scripted promos are actually great...

...sike! They're absolutely f*cking garbage!

This bait-and-switch bullsh*t comes to an end when scripted promos do, as does WWE's preferred promo tone. Heel promos aren't vicious, maddeningly arrogant, or comically deluded. There's no heat, no emotional response, but rather a clenched, mild annoyance. Heel promos are mostly just disingenuous. Patronising. The people running the place are so detestable that it has become the default.

"That's cute," several WWE heels say, like teenagers in films written by old men, and there's no reason to get behind the dorks on the receiving end because they don't immediately start ripping faces off. They fight fire with fire...supa hot fire, in relentlessly damaging insult exchanges. And this isn't Bret and Shawn flexing in 1997, or The Rock bantering off everybody in 1999. This sh*t isn't entertaining, personality-drenched fight hype. It is two performers simply pointing out one another's flaws in scenarios that flatter neither and interest nobody.

You're good, but I'm better, and I'll prove it at [show X].

This sh*t is timeless. This simple framework breeds creativity and builds interest without making the crowd realise that, hey, Finn Bálor is a bit too small and nobody does want to see Baron Corbin again, come to think of it.

Let's not listen!

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Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!