1. The Cheese Grater
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pchROW4Q-P4 At Genesis 2012, Abyss faced off with Bully Ray in a Monsters' Ball, which is not regrettable in and of itself. Ray was one of the hottest heels in wrestling at the time, and Abyss, despite what you may surmise from reading this list, is usually very good in hardcore matches. No, one specific moment within this generally okay match stands as the dumbest thing Abyss was ever involved in. Midway through the match, Abyss brandished a cheese grater and placed it lightly between Bully Rays thighs, causing him to bolt upright, his arms held out at his sides as if in shock. Abyss then, in clear defiance of how kitchen utensils, pants, and testicles work, somehow critically wounded Bully by gently moving the grater away from his pants. TNAs stellar announce team leapt into action to call this immortal moment. Taz quipped, Holy gorgonzolie, while Mike Tenay asked Thatll grate the cheese, wont it?, apparently confused at the intended purpose of a cheese grater. The two chuckled over their rapier wits as the match rolled on, only to be interrupted by Bully hitting a low blow on Abyss. He staggered to his feet, hobbling around the ring and shouting, "GAWD MY BAWLS," several minutes after the alleged injury took place. Ah yes; the legendary Delayed Reaction Over-the-Clothing Cheese Grater Bloodless Genital Mutilation Technique. Truly, TNA is where Wrestling Matters.