10 Things Vince McMahon Has In Common With A Small Child
7. He Will Only Eat Food That Goes With Ketchup
Kids aren't adventurous eaters, which is challenging.
They are particularly sensitive to heat and spices, complex flavours scan as bitter, and in general, kids are afraid of things. The dark. The first day of school. British professional wrestlers.
They're also afraid to try new foods. Some scientists theorise that this is an anthropological instinct driven by our ancestors' fear of being unwittingly poisoned. Others speculate that they're simply awkward. Regardless of the true reason behind this phenomenon, it is very much real.
Every parent has felt the guilt of giving up and trying to save the vibe of a weekend by bunging whichever grey processed sh*te lurks in the freezer in the oven. 25 minutes later on 180 degrees Celsius, and they're finally eating something, whether it's of nutritional value or not.
Parents do this because there's one secret trick to convince toddlers to eat: lashings and lashings of tomato ketchup. That's it. Ketchup. They go apesh*t for the stuff.
In one of the more legendary "Vince is insane" stories, he once rubbished the infamous "Eddie Guerrero spikes Big Show's burrito with laxatives" storyline because he didn't know what a burrito was, and didn't think anybody else would, either.
As, all the while, he ate steak burritos every single day unwittingly. Of course, he could only eat these glorified steak wraps after lubricating his classless gullet with ketchup.
Because he is five.