10 Things Vince McMahon Has In Common With A Small Child

8. He Throws Pissy Fits When He Hasn't Had A Feed

Vince McMahon Is A Child
WWE

Kids are very impulsive and emotional creatures prone, at least once a day, to throwing a monster of a tantrum. Not allowed to play on the Switch until they've brushed their teeth?

If they'd learned the words to say it, they'd tell you they want to rip your head off and sh*t down your neck.

They might be overtired, or it might just be because that's how their formative brains are - but it's more likely that, if you can convince them to actually do it, giving them something to eat will satiate the demon within. Everybody gets "hangry" on occasion, but most express this mood with a tut or passive-aggressive comment. They don't alter the fate of a hard-working performer because they have yet to eat their din-dins. They do not open the mouth of hell, like kids, because their tummies are rumbling.

Vince does!

Legend has it - and Chris Jericho and Brodie Lee discussed this phenomenon on Talk Is Jericho in 2020 - that if you catch Vince before or during a feed, and you have a great idea to pitch him, you are screwed. He needs sustenance, and if he's midway through a meal, he will only critique the meal and pay no attention to a great three-month story arc.

His way of expressing his feelings on a subpar steak?

"Bad cow".

A shoot child would form a more coherent sentence than that.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!