10 Things We Learned From WWE Raw (May 29)
6. The Titus Bland
Titus O'Neil wrestled this week, which as it turns out is marginally less interesting than Titus O'Neil wearing a suit watching other people wrestle.
Third man in a bewildering love triangle of sorts with Apollo Crews, Kalisto was again trotted out to slightly disapprove of the uneasy alliance between the two charisma voids.
To sum things up with a sentence that probably appears more times than just about any other when discussing WWE television in 2017 - nothing really happened, then the short match ended with a roll-up.
Aha, not with distraction though! Flexing their creative muscles for a change, the company had Titus cling on to Kalisto's tights in a synch the pair of them conspired to make look painfully unconvincing. But even that was more believable than Apollo's post-match reaction.
Fundamentally unable to project whatever direction he was given, Crews flitted between 'broadly disappointed' to 'disinterested but grinning' in the range of feelings expressed for this latest shocking (!) twist (!!) in their rollercoaster relationship (!!!).
Whether fans like it or not, Monday Night Raw is three hours long, which will lead to storylines like this that progress at snail's pace with seemingly little interest in actually satisfying the basic viewer needs of engaging story and interesting character development. This programme is so vapid, it may as well not exist.