10 Things Wrestling Needs To Ban RIGHT NOW
2. Excessive Match Lengths (For A Cynical Goal)
For the longest time, match length has been conflated with match quality.
There's apparently no such thing as a classic short match, even if KENTA Vs. Ricky Marvin is more electrifying than literally thousands of lengthier matches worked in the "hybrid" vein. That famous sprint, from October 15, 2009, lasted just 01:59. Great short matches are possible.
What's ironic about wrestlers is that, while many of them bemoan Dave Meltzer, just as many wrestlers work matches within the parameters of what he has historically considered a "classic". They know that the currency of wrestling is in acclaim and "bangers" - a take, given the contrasting fortunes of LA Knight and Ricochet, that is out of date - and so they wrestle long back-and-forth matches in the pursuit of it.
Is this all not getting a bit...repetitive? Meaningless? Tedious?
It's backwards - similar, in a way, to when WWE would book events on a calendar-first basis. The length of the match feels like it comes first at the expense of the story. The idea that a great match is long and a long match is great is like gum on a pavement.
"Ban long matches" is silly, obviously, but a booker/agent should truly ask themselves if the match needs that many minutes - minutes that could be spent on promos or video packages or anything else that makes you want to watch more wrestling.
WarGames is a criminal offence in particular. It's so weird. Not a single match held since the 2017 reboot has troubled MOTY lists. If the first was some awesome, seminal deal, yes, chase that dragon. But nobody believes they're all-time great attractions. Blood & Guts performs very well in the ratings, but would anybody care if it was 10 minutes shorter?
Isn't that in fact what everybody would prefer?
Another question:
You know what absolutely f*cking ruled, and should have imparted a lesson (but sadly didn't)?
Yes, the answer once more is Eddie Kingston Vs. CM Punk at AEW Full Gear 2021. They needed just 11 minutes to unleash a funny and brutal torrent of pure hatred.
It would just be neat, years after the great match has been normalised, if wrestlers could begin to test themselves with sprints or shorter, leaner matches. It would be nice to get away from that feeling of wrestlers just doing moves to one another.
After all, you don't like star ratings, right?