Trying to understand the mind of Vince McMahon is like trying to figure out why, as an infant, you couldn't stay up late, even if you're sure the sun's still out behind closed curtains. Or why, as an adolescent, you might have experienced your most confusing emotional development of the afternoon in R.E, rather than the privacy of your own bedroom. Or why, as an adult you might try to understand the mind of Vince McMahon.
Podcast deep dives have tried to drill down into what makes the bananas billionaire tick 61 minutes an hour, 25 hours a day, 8 days a week, and still can't reach the core. Long after he's dead, the latest audio-visual medium will do the same.
History is all that supports a thesis. To figure out The Chairman is to study his prior methods, not least because he relies on them himself. Relentlessly.
The gimmicks that have worked for him before will work again and again, !*$% it, until they don't. It's why Daniel Bryan's futuristic evil environmentalist persona resonated with a 73-year-old conservative tycoon - the man knows how to recycle.
Pray for the Women's Revolution as it continues on its complex journey - WWE haven't yet named a wrestler "Fetch", but contemporary popcorn classic Mean Girls is now 15 years old, so Vince McMahon might yet try to make it happen. He tried, often at great expense, to heave worse retreads over the line...
Square eyes on a square head, trained almost exclusively to Pro Wrestling, Sunderland AFC & Paul Rudd films. Responsible for 'Shocking Plans You Won't Believe Actually Happened', some of the words in our amazing Wrestling bookazines (both available at shop.whatculture.com), and probably every website list you read that praised Kevin Nash.