10 Times WWE Went Further Than The Attitude Era
7. Heidenreich Makes Michael Cole Uncomfortable
Jon Heidenreich didn't technically penetrate Michael Cole to warrant the unfortunate nickname he picked up after this infamous segment. This is important.
It's how they got away with it!
It's a bit like the DX tank; just as there was never a tank, there was no full penetration with Heidenreich's tank gun.
"I bet you're wondering why I've got you back here, Michael!" Heidenreich grunted, and upon transcribing this segment, that opening disclaimer is probably bullsh*t because he effectively dry humps him, quite aggressively, and Cole's terrified face is smeared across a wall backstage.
"Well I've been watching you, and I've been studying you, Michael!" Heidenreich continued, and mate, if you'd used that time to study tape of Stan Hansen, you mightn't have been so sh*t.
This was putrid, uncomfortable, triggering stuff even if it was pretext for a bait-and-switch gag. You know the whole pregnant/fat context confusion trope beloved of sitcoms? That was WWE's attempt at this, only "Sexual assault? No, I just want to read you a poem!"
What's interesting - or damning, depending on your perspective - is that the gruff cadence used by Heidenreich here is identical to those topless Lars Sullivan promos WWE has already dropped. Vince McMahon is out of ideas. Happily, NXT is still good. Then again, "terrifying blonde-haired man with whacky secret talent!" is basically Dexter Lumis.
Shut it all down.