10 Totally Stupid Things WWE Has ALREADY DONE Since WrestleMania 33
3. The House Of Horrors Match
Where to start?
Randy Orton, who we were meant to receive as the babyface in all of this - even though he desecrated the corpse of the heel's dead sister - arrived to the titular House in a limo, complete with champagne flutes. When he stepped out, cloaked in darkness, he was met with a self-driving tractor. Such machinery does exist in real life, which poses yet more questions. Is the implication here that Wyatt invested in one to spook Orton, or that he has supernatural powers? It's either mundane or frankly moronic, given that Wyatt doesn't use his ability to win wrestling matches of note.
The two men then did battle in a patchwork quilt of horror movie cliche. The House, with its Blair Witch-style backwoods imagery and Night of the Living Dead-esque cracks in the walls, was meant to be terrifying - but Wyatt emerged with the advantage by trapping Orton under a fridge. That's about as ordinary as it gets.
Wyatt then travelled to the arena in the limo, but Orton somehow beat him to it. Did he book an Uber, or something? It could only have been a jet, because it was broad daylight outside of the arena. He must have travelled from a different time zone.
I can't believe I'm writing this combination of words, in this order. A wrestling match is meant to provide a bit of escapism. It's not meant to trigger an existential crisis.