10 Ways Wrestling Changes You As A Person
7. You Begin To Hate Yourself
Do you ever think to yourself, as Baron Corbin applies a rest hold to Finn Bálor during their ninth RAW match in as many weeks…what the f*ck am I doing with my life?
You could be reading the classic literature you pretend to. You haven’t seen 2001: A Space Odyssey yet. If you missed RAW, SmackDown and Sunday’s pay-per-view, you could instead binge watch the first season of Bojack Horseman. You like comedy shows, and it’s meant to be one of the best comedy shows of this generation. What’s wrong with you? Have you lost the heart to laugh?
But no: you’re going to watch Bobby Lashley apply a rest hold to Finn Bálor as Lio Rush grabs a microphone and witlessly drones “Lashley! Lashley! Lashley!” for the express purpose of completely pissing you off. You won’t get behind Bálor, not really. He’s had his match with Brock Lesnar, in which he portrayed himself as a main event-calibre wrestler, and now he’s back to where he was before, as if none of this actually matters.
If not full-on self-loathing, you have at least experienced one existential crisis—because wrestling has an inimitable way of insulting your intelligence.