10 Ways WWE Can Get Fans To Cheer Roman Reigns
1. Turn The Poor B*stard Heel Already, Christ Almighty
Roman was recently asked to give his thoughts on Steve Austin's thoughts. Like every f*cker else, Austin reckons Reigns needed to turn heel yesterday. Furtively slipping Vince McMahon the proverbial mix CD, Reigns was in agreement. "I think there's definitely a lot of truth in what he has to say and I value his opinion," he remarked when doing the press rounds on WWE's recent tour of Europe.
We're not likely to see a heel Roman - i.e. a natural extension of his aloof and entitled real-life persona - any time soon. Instead, WWE has opted to oxymoronically and moronically manufacture the organic rise of Daniel Bryan by positioning Reigns as a victim of the machine. What's absolutely batsh*t about this development - other than the fact there's more holes in it than X-Pac's anus - is that there is a bigger star, the biggest star, in the entire world, to emulate in The F*cking Rock and his excellent turncoat heel act. Wrestling is a massive paradox. Fans, in thrall to their abusers, have experienced Stockholm Syndrome for two decades. Given that McMahon is frozen in time decades before that, we are as knackered as the integrity of his pet project.
This is a Hot Take. But JFC, it's so blindingly obvious that this missed sentiment alone conclusively proves that Vince McMahon is hopelessly out of touch with his fanbase.
Not that that matters: WWE now generates as much money from fans than it does sponsors, TV partners and the like. So the Reign will continue, unabated, since WWE has less and less cause to listen to its fans. So, while there is no real way of getting fans behind the babyface Roman Reigns act, our voices are mute.
Altogether now:
"IT'S THE BIG DOG!"