10 Weirdest Ways To Earn A Wrestling Title Shot
8. Get Plucked From The Audience (As A Small Child)
WrestleMania is untenable in its current format.
In this post-pay-per-view era of talent warehousing, even the exhausting seven-and-a-half hour run-time cannot accommodate the vast reaches of a roster recruited out of spite. The event illuminates to the hard-working talent - Harper, most publicly - that the old dream is irreconcilable with the modern reality. There simply isn't enough space on a card loaded with the all-important part-time stars, major title matches, and young children.
Little Nicholas was plucked from obscurity to partner Braun Strowman in his quest to capture the RAW Tag Team Championships. It was a stern challenge. Individually, Cesaro and Sheamus are bruising powerhouses; Cesaro is a beast of a human being, and Sheamus is capable of caving your chest in with ferocious clubbing blows.
But man, together?
Together they're just a f*cking tag team, so f*ck 'em.
Winning the title, as a preadolescent child, was even easier than earning the Opportunity: Nicholas trembled on the apron as Strowman decimated two men by himself in an abject mirror into Vince McMahon's mind, and his formula for Such Good Sh*t.
Big hoss (singular) = great, two big hosses (plural) = eurgh, two?, little kids who like even littler next to big hoss = hahahahahahaha pal!