1. Pat Patterson / Gerald Brisco
At one point in their careers, Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco were legit wrestlers. Good ones, even. But once they became part of Mr. McMahon's entourage (under the flattering nickname The Stooges), they were no longer considered wrestlers. They were doofuses who embarrassed themselves on command, with drastically diminishing returns. Unlike most "joke" champions who dropped the title within about half an hour's time, Patterson and Brisco held the WWE Hardcore Championship a combined three times for a total of 33 days. That is exactly 32.9 days too long. If you don't believe me, you should be aware that, had these guys been forced into the list of other minutes-long champions, the world would have been spared the Pat Patterson vs. Gerald Brisco Hardcore Evening Gown Match. Both guys deserve to be on this list, as a tandem, if only because that is the worst thing to ever happen inside a wrestling ring between two grown men. ...And I'm including every match between Diesel and Mabel.