10 Wrestlers You Won't Believe Are Still Wrestling

He's Buff, he's the stuff, and he's all out of puff.

Buff Bagwell 2019
ARWPRO

Wrestling retirements are right up there with sunny bank holiday weather forecasts and UK rail travel in the sphere of 'things you wouldn't bet a quid on, let alone your house'. Indeed, seasoned pros have cried wolf so many times in hanging up their boots/singlets/novelty top hats that big valedictory speeches are met with incredulity, presumed as a prelude to a lucrative future comeback.

Cynical? Consider: Edge, Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, The Undertaker (implied through folding), Mick Foley (repeatedly), Terry Funk (a running joke at this point). This is just the tip of the proverbial Goldberg (twice).

Basically, when a wrestler says they are retiring, give their words as much credence as you would Richard Nixon in a round of Call My Bluff.

For some reason, whilst these men and women are deified for their frequent fairweather retreats, treated as returning heroes when they once more strap on the spandex, a different set of wrestlers who simply never stopped, even once their body says they probably should, are mocked as washed-up has-beens. Heck, a whole Hollywood movie was produced based on this concept.

But why should they be ridiculed for doing what they love, albeit in jogging bottoms? We don't want to point fingers and laugh here (though we can't make any promises), and instead celebrate those fading stars from the past who, against all odds, continue to twinkle today.

10. Koko B. Ware

Buff Bagwell 2019
PPW

Poor Koko B. Ware's name is most likely mentioned these days as the least deserving member of WWE's utterly inconsequential Hall of Fame, but unlike gasbag Hillbilly Jim - a man whose exhausting speech was enough to revoke him from the club - the Birdman is at least trying to earn his place ex post facto.

That's because, though poor Frankie has long since flown off to macaw heaven, Koko is still flapping about across the American indies. Eleven years after his induction, Ware has wrestled an average of three matches a year, most recently alighting in PPW in a six-man contest also containing James Ellsworth.

Back in 1993, Koko B. Ware appeared in the first ever match on Monday Night Raw, crushed under the almighty girth of Yokozuna (it's about as good as it sounds). Despite still being on the job, he wasn't part of the programme's 25 Year celebrations in 2018. That probably had something to do with hitching his wagon to Konstantine Kyros concussion lawsuit - concussions, which, oddly, haven't stopped him working in his 60s.

 
Posted On: 
Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.