10 WWE Moments That Just Left Us Confused

Anybody who comes out of an egg is instantly over.

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As we're all no doubt aware, having had our fandom bashed on the bonce by a sneery mainstream media for as long as we can all remember, wrestling is simple, low-brow stuff. The characters are hokey, the 'fights' are fake, and only someone with the equivalent brain cells of a glass of water or a Flat Earthers' convention could possibly buy into or even enjoy such claptrap.

Obviously, that's an extremely exaggerated and patently ignorant viewpoint (though it should be noted, wrestling fans also use the term 'squared circle'). But some of the broader strokes aren't necessarily off the mark; compared with most forms of fiction, wrestling does not suffer from an overabundance of subtlety. At its best, it can rival Tolstoy for perspicacious deconstructions of the human condition. At its worst - which historically, has been usually - it struggles to beat Katie Price for complexity.

It's such a simple formula that it isn't really necessary to complicate things. Bad guy does bad things, good guy beats bad guy, everybody goes home happy. Simple, right?

Not always. Sometimes things happen in wrestling that even the smartest of fans - those with the IQ of two glasses of water - simply cannot explain.

10. Don Muraco's Maths

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WWE Network

Over a decade before The Rock's electrifying verbiage enraptured audiences, his '80s namesake Don Muraco was leaving them scratching their heads at his stupefying own.

One of the most memorable examples of the Magnificent One's tie-dyed tongue-twisters came shortly after he triumphed in WWE's first ever King of the Ring. In a promo which had 'Mean' Gene Okerlund doing his best to suppress giggles, the new sovereign took aim at rival Ricky Steamboat and his new partner The Junkyard Dog. Referencing the number 64 on his football jersey, Muraco rambled, "it's time and numbers and space. 64, maybe 65, but maybe 46 to somebody else's eyes - and we're gonna be in your face."

The nonsense probably didn't encourage any further interest in his Nassau Coliseum blow-off, but sales of Stephen Hawking's A Brief History of Time reportedly went up. We give this promo a 64, maybe 65 out of 46.

Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.