10 WWE Stars With Laughably Bad Music Careers
6. Jesse 'The Body' Ventura
The opening guitar riff to 'The Body Rules' is promising. It's certainly of its 1980s time, but not naff, wailing 80s. The riff struts, and you can imagine you would too, en route to the office, inspired by its cocksure swagger to produce some fuego content. And then Jesse, one of the best heel commentators in pro wrestling history, unleashes an atypically poor verbal game. This should have put him off from singing songs, but it did not. It never does.
Ventura simply lists, listlessly, what he "has got".
He's got "the power". We know that to be true. As he very credibly (and problematically) put over in 'Predator', he is a "godd*mn sexual Tyrannosaurus".
He's also got "the speed" which he probably did have, being a product of the '80s, but he wasn't a particularly quick pro wrestler.
He's got "the ways" to "get to you", which predates his hilarious blow-up with lizard people conspirator David Icke.
It's less easy to tell what he has "got" as the song repeats itself into the second minute, rescued from utter monotony by some choice of-the-era supplicant female backing vocals. Nobody bothered, on this world wide web that includes a detailed Wikipedia entry on toilet paper orientation, to transcribe the lyrics, and the mixer drowns him out with the the only thing the song has going for it - a strung-out Mötley Crüe demo riff.
'The Body' ruled. 'The Body Rules' did not rule.