10 WWE Stars With Laughably Bad Music Careers

2. Lou Albano

Jeff Hardy Guitar
WWE.com

Kitsch 1970s act NRBQ lent their jaunty, twee, placid tones to a bizarre and not very good at all spoken-word comedy/music hybrid album entitled 'Lou And The Q'.

It begins with a spot of scatting/children's gun noises entitled 'The Captain's Roll Call' in which Albano delivers the following zinger after 15 seconds of unlistenable mouth noises: "You know why the little mouse left home? Because his father was a f*ckin' rat." Never again ask for WWE to lose the PG rating. With the company overdosing on cash, it's never going to happen, and this is the sort of b*llocks they'd come up with.

'Captain Lou' is just the singer singing 'Captain Lou Captain Lou Captain Lou Captain Lou Captain Lou Captain Lou Al-bano', over and over again, over a jangly riff that gets irritating as sh*t after ten seconds. Albano, on backing vocal duties, simply says 'Captain Lou Captain Lou Al-bano'.

"He's talkin' about me!" Albano pipes up, in the only thing he says that isn't his name. No sh*t. The f*ck else was he singing about?

The funkier 'Boardin' House Pie', in which Captain Lou Captain Lou Captain Lou Captain Lou Captain Lou Captain Lou Al-bano simply grunts the words 'Boardin' House Pie' over and over again, is probably worse.

There are 2003-era Triple H promos less repetitive than this.

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Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!