10 WWE Things That Are Impossible To Believe In

8. The Match-Making Process

The Miz And Maryse
WWE.com

On this Monday's RAW, Kevin Owens played the role of sentient (that's questionable) MacGuffin: The moron who talks himself into a match through interfering in the opening segment, which in turn portrays WWE's heels as chickensh*t and as thick as pigsh*t.

If they are that scared of wrestling, why a) be a wrestler and b) contrive, week after week, to wander into Kurt Angle's (completely unintended) snake pit? It's just plot hole on top of plot hole on top of plot hole. The Inception of terrible sports entertainment.

This talking out of turn inevitably results in the "punishment" of fulfilling one's contractual obligations, which also leads one to wonder exactly what Kurt Angle has planned in the 15:00-30:00 minute slot on the off-chance a match doesn't materialise in front of his hapless eyes via the squabbling losers engaging in playground arguments. We're left to assume that these slots would otherwise go unfilled, since the camera never pans to a despondent Mike Kanellis removing his wrestling gear. Incidentally, there's a decent and coherent running gag ripe to exploit there - will Jobber X ever get the chance to lace his boots? - but no.

It's all so obviously scripted that the enterprise is revealed as phony a full five minutes into the broadcast.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!