11 Match Star Ratings For WWE SummerSlam 2021
9. Alexa Bliss Vs. Eva Marie
Where to start?
The woman that a supernatural clown killer groomed and infantilised to better appear as a child won a match after her opponent, an Instagram inlfuencer, slapped her supernatural doll. This doll had inhabited both Jack The Ripper and the Zodiac Killer. When the woman who attempted to bring it to justice for the slain was announced as the loser of the match by a recent victim of voodoo, the fans cheered, albeit lightly.
This is legitimately unhinged, brain-wormed storytelling and yet, somehow, it is also incredibly dull. The work was as shoddy as you'd expect, but the match didn't go long enough to embarrass itself nor reward the audience with schadenfreude. Marie spent most of it working the doll.
She paint-brushed the little f*cker like Jim Cornette just caught Santino Marella gently breaking kayfabe. Bliss screamed in response to almost zero reaction. Nobody gives a sh*t about any of this. Apart from the nonces who are hardly going to admit that publicly. "
"This is awesome?" Well, this is Chris Hansen, bitch!"
Star Rating: DUD