12 Ways WWE Can Still #FreeWrestleMania From Sucking

10. Max Out The Special Guests (But Keep Them Out Of The Ring)

Given the lack of star power available, WWE should absolutely try to bring in a few legendary cameos... provided they don't wrestle. Sneaky superkicks and stunners are one thing, but making a group of middle-aged men look like the equals of the young, ridiculously fit and talented roster WWE have working for them is incredibly counter-productive. The Rock confirmed his appearance at WrestleMania weeks ago, and judging by his teasing announcement on the subject, plans are already in place for him. Those plans definitely won't include wrestling on the card, as he's got a full shooting slate and the insurers would have a heart attack - but they probably will include Roman Reigns. It would make sense for him to be standing in his cousin's corner. They've teased The Rock vs. Triple H before, and if the Great One was to assist in costing the Game his title, it'd help set up a possible Attitude Era Replay for next year's event. As much as I don't like the idea of seeing them at it again, it makes strong business sense to have that one up their sleeve, just in case: and at least it's two guys the same age sluggishly bashing each other in the face. Shawn Michaels reportedly turned down the special guest referee spot for the same main event - but should he be at ringside supporting Triple H opposite The Rock instead? WrestleMania 32 is in his home state, after all - it seems almost rude not to pop his head in, and if the finish goes to interference... well, no one interferes quite like the Heartbreak Kid. Similarly, 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin keeps telling people he hasn't heard anything from WWE yet, but like Michaels the show is in his backyard. It'd be ridiculous for the biggest draw in WWF/E history not to be there - but, like his buddies of yesteryear, it won't be to wrestle. Ric Flair will obviously be in Charlotte's corner for the Diva's triple threat match. However, scuttlebutt (like gossip with gunfingers) says that the Hardcore Legend Mick Foley is now all but confirmed to be involved somewhere in the show, and will be appearing on RAW in a week or so to advance a last minute angle. I have a few ideas about that - just as I do about the potential involvement of Mick's old WCW buddy, the Icon, Sting - as long as they don't try to look like wrestlers out there.
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Contributor

Professional writer, punk werewolf and nesting place for starfish. Obsessed with squid, spirals and story. I publish short weird fiction online at desincarne.com, and tweet nonsense under the name Jack The Bodiless. You can follow me all you like, just don't touch my stuff.