16 Most Illustrious Fake Families In Wrestling History

Wrestling is a family business, but it's also fundamentally a pretend business.

Brothers Of Destruction Undertaker Kane
wwe.com

After over a century of existence, the world of professional wrestling sports countless second and third-generation competitors. It's full of dynasties like the Harts, the Guerreros, and the Anoa'is, all of whom boast multiple Hall of Fame-worthy competitors. At this point, the McMahons practically own the sport. Wrestling is a family business.

But it's also fundamentally a pretend business. Stripped of all pomp and pretence, it's built upon lying to its audience about everything from how much things hurt to the competitors' weights. Simply put, they're working you, man. Nothing is sacred in pro wrestling, and that includes the bonds of family.

This list is about the blessed confluence of wrestling as a family business and as a fictional enterprise. The following clans exist squarely in kayfabe, but that's not to say that they're all the same. Some are completely fictional families, made up entirely of unrelated folks who might happen to look alike. In other cases, fictional family members are invented for real wrestling families when actual family members get injured, retired, or burned very important bridges.

To put it bluntly, blood ties run deep, but so does kayfabe.

16. The Dicks

Brothers Of Destruction Undertaker Kane
WWE

Remember 2005/06 WWE? Of course you don't, it was an absolute black hole, but keep reading anyway. In an era when the tag team division was ruled by such all time non-greats as The Mexicools and the Heidenreich version of the Road Warriors, the fraternal tandem of Chad and James Dick scraped the bottom of the barrel. They worked a Chippendales gimmick, including a spot in which they would repeatedly find ways to blind their opponents with a spray of warm baby oil.

Great Muta they weren't.

The Dick brothers originally came from OVW, where they competed as Chad and Tank Toland, variously described as either brothers or cousins.

They were known as the Blond Bombers, and despite not using weaponized body oil to win matches, Ray Stevens and Pat Patterson they (also) weren't.

Contributor

Long-time fan (scholar?) of professional wrestling, kaiju films and comparative mythology. Aspiring two-fisted adventurer.