20 Dumbest Gimmick Matches In WCW History

Ladies and gentlemen, warm up your Cornette Faces.

Chamber Of Horrors

If you're a connoisseur of bad wrestling, when you hear “WCW” you probably think “awful gimmick match” before you think “Ric Flair.” The dearly departed half of North American pro wrestling’s big two may be nothing but a memory, but man, what spectacular silly memories. WCW seemed totally committed to the idea of ruining perfectly good matches, and they didn't have just one way of doing it.

For this article, I’ve scoured WCW’s history books (read: the WWE Network) to bring you the 20 stupidest match types that company put on. There's a dizzying variety of bad ideas here: there are matches with incomprehensible rules, matches which are aggressively dull to watch, matches that are basically indistinguishable from standard matches, and even matches which are potentially deadly to the participants. Cornette face!

I've also chosen a single moment from each match that best encapsulates the absurdity of the endeavor as a whole, and, perhaps, of existence itself.

20. Martial Arts Match

Chamber Of Horrors
WWE Network

Meng occasionally wore a gi from Halloween Express and brutalized opponents with ill-defined oriental nerve holds. Jim Duggan looked like the sidekick from Bloodsport and won all of his matches with magical fist tape that he kept nestled in his trunks. What match could possibly contain these highly-trained killing machines? Why, the Martial Arts Match, of course.

In the extremely dangerous and definitely unique Martial Arts Match, victory can only be attained by pinfall, submission, or knockout. If an entire array of BS detectors is currently sounding off between your ears, yes, it's exactly like a regular singles match, except you have to bow at the beginning. It's seven minutes of Meng and Jim Duggan trading gentle chinlocks and no-selling clotheslines. You know. Martial arts stuff!

Defining Moment: You could cue up literally any second of this of this and feel the exact same sense of inescapable ennui.

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Long-time fan (scholar?) of professional wrestling, kaiju films and comparative mythology. Aspiring two-fisted adventurer.