4 Ups & 5 Downs From NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 16 (Night 1)
1. EVIL vs. Tomohiro Ishii
In what will likely go down as one of the worst wrestling matches presented by a major league company in 2022, EVIL defeated Tomohiro Ishii to become the new NEVER Openweight Champion.
A messy hodgepodge of the worst Dick Togo-isms, it was everything New Japan fans have come to expect from House of Torture matches made worse by the circumstances. This was Ishii's first Wrestle Kingdom singles match since 2019 and only his second since 2016. Inconceivably deprived of this specific spotlight for far too long, he was made to work around lazy, repetitive "heat" spots in his singles Dome comeback and though he tried to make the soup edible, the rest of the ingredients were too rotten for that.
The match got off to a ropy start when EVIL and manager Dick Togo battered Ishii with chairs on the outside. Back in the ring, they spammed interferences, distractions, and other House of Torture b*llocks ad nauseam, concluding, with EVIL winning following an awkwardly-conceived low blow spot.
An affront to Tomohiro Ishii, Wrestle Kingdom, and the NEVER Openweight Championship itself, this was complete, artless drivel, likely put together by Togo, one of the most poisonous creative influences in modern wrestling.