4 Ups & 7 Downs From NXT Spring Breakin'

3. A Masturbation Joke?

Remember how Brooks Jensen was jumped last week by Von Wagner, but Josh Briggs thought it was Legado del Fantasma?

Well, a full week later, it looked like he finally got around to getting his hand checked out, and a doctor determined that it would need to be in a cast. Normally, that would take 10-12 weeks, but because of the strong muscles in his right hand/wrist/forearm, it would only be six weeks.

But the doctor wanted to know: How was Brooks’ right hand so much stronger than his left? Well, you see, because Jensen is a virgin, he clearly has been pleasuring himself a lot, which explains everything. It’s funny you guys! Masturbation is hilarious!

Just a reminder that this show is written by ancient, out-of-touch men for pre-pubescent teens, and watched by 60-year-old men. Just ridiculous.

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Scott is a former journalist and longtime wrestling fan who was smart enough to abandon WCW during the Monday Night Wars the same time as the Radicalz. He fondly remembers watching WrestleMania III, IV, V and VI and Saturday Night's Main Event, came back to wrestling during the Attitude Era, and has been a consumer of sports entertainment since then. He's written for WhatCulture for more than a decade, establishing the Ups and Downs articles for WWE Raw and WWE PPVs/PLEs and composing pieces on a variety of topics.