5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (April 18)
Ru-Ruminating on Ru-Ru.
WWE's latest update on the Draft concept - the Superstar Shake-Up - is almost infuriatingly lazy.
There is only a faint pretence that "intense negotiations" take place. Mostly, the Superstars are moved around the chess board arbitrarily like interchangeable parts. In many ways, it is a depressing fictional echo of reality. In WWE, so few of the performers actually matter that it borders on the astonishing.
WWE did make effort in some cases, if you're willing to really suspend disbelief and make your own adventure.
You can buy that Kurt Angle was more than happy to wash his hands of The Miz. Miz was a persistent pest throughout 2017, no longer controls the fate of the RAW-based Intercontinental Title, and you can infer also that Angle and Daniel Bryan share a certain mutual respect that allowed the latter, newly-cleared, a chance to avenge years' worth of prodding. It's somewhat easy to accept that both Angle and Paige would both "negotiate" with NXT to sign, respectively, two former NXT Champions in Drew McIntyre and Andrade 'Cien' Almas. Kurt Angle persuading Paige to take Big Cass on was cracking business, given how terribly his first singles run went.
Altogether less easy to buy...
5. Shake Shake Shake, Shake Shake Shake, Shake Is Booty
Kurt Angle is an idiot.
The Bar tandem of Cesaro and Sheamus could feasibly reclaim the RAW Tag Team Titles at Greatest Royal Rumble, and the dunce has allowed them to sign with SmackDown, potentially losing control of the fate of his division's crown. This is the same man who last week claimed that division was "full" - not full enough, it would seem, to let go of the number one contenders. But it's alright - Angle signed the Ascension instead.
Angle repeated the same mistake twice, by allowing Samoa Joe to move over to SmackDown - the same Samoa Joe set to challenge for the Intercontinental Title at Greatest Royal Rumble. Obviously, none of these self-inflicted wounds will cut RAW to shreds - which will create predictability in the fiction as well as inducing migraines in reality. Kurt Angle's buffoonery led to the mixed tag team match at WrestleMania 34, the night after which Ronda Rousey broke Stephanie McMahon's arm. Why, in the storylines, is Angle still in a job?
At least, by falling into such deep plot holes, you might crack your skull open and never have to bother with these headaches ever again.
Beyond all that - shouldn't these Superstars, who were willing to assault their counterparts and place them #UnderSiege, protest about moving to begin with? Aren't they fiercely loyal to their brands?
"You can't expect logic from WWE" is the counterargument. Why not? Isn't WWE the recognised global leader, comparable, in the actual words of Stephanie McMahon, to the works of Shakespeare? Isn't all other wrestling "spot fests" with "no psychology"?