5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (August 17)

3. Shake, Shake, Shake The Orton, Shake His Pubic Line

Peyton Royce
WWE.com

Hey

Hey

Hey, nothing you can say

Gonna whip my c*ck out on your first day

Yes, Randy Orton is in a spot of bother. Allegations of misconduct levelled at Orton made by former Creative Writer Court Bauer in 2012 resurfaced this week, and they make for decidedly ugly reading especially in this age of increased harassment awareness. Orton, in a literal prick move, allegedly intimidated new Creative Writers by reaching into his trucks, fondling himself, and making them touch his hand. "Oh, you don't want to shake my hand?" he'd say. "You're big leaguing me? That's f*cked up, man. Should I tell Vince and Steph you won't shake Randy Orton's hand?"

Gross stuff. Orton would put these poor f*ckers in impossible positions presumably because he delights in making people squirm. It was Sophie's choice: either shake his hand and look like a right a*shole, or walk around in a state of pure fear. It's more impossible a decision than working out what's more boring: his match with Triple H at WrestleMania 25, or his Punjabi Prison Match with Jinder Mahal. With an unintentional hilarity - then again, this is WWE, they probably did it on purpose - Orton was shown on this week's SmackDown, lurking behind the curtain, and generally looking incredibly sinister.

WWE is "looking into" the matter. That's a euphemism for "It'll blow over in a week". And it has, since he poked fun at the whole thing on a recent house show.

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!