5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (August 31)
4. The UnderFaker
In news broken in June that has only recently surfaced on Twitter, a bloated Undertaker impersonator "became drunk and belligerent" at the Cap 'N C*ck bar in New Brighton, Pennsylvania. He was taken into custody after threatening to plant the bouncer with a sh*tty version of the Tombstone piledriver.
No, it wasn't Kane, but an apparent cosplayer going by the name of "Mark Callaway". We can only presume the man legally changed his name, else this is more of a happy coincidence than The Shield magically reforming just 24 hours after the deeply unpopular Roman Reigns left SummerSlam as Universal Champion. According to the "report", "Callaway" attempted to prove to his fellow patrons his real identity by offering to take a chair across the back. This was a red flag; 'Taker won't even take an AA at WrestleMania in 2018. Given that this man, already delusional, was also blitzed off his t*ts, we can only mourn the fact that nobody transcribed the promo, though it probably made more sense than the promo the real 'Taker cut at RAW25.
A cursory Google search confirms that no such establishment exists, so whomever has concocted the story has put less effort into the work than WWE has with Triple H Vs. The Undertaker at Super Show-Down.
This story then is probably bullsh*t but, since it's the best thing we've seen involving the Undertaker this year, we will allow it.