5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (July 20)
4. Dana Warrior Is Crazier Than Her Husband Was
Dana Warrior hosts a podcast entitled ‘Total Warriors’. For the recent Friday The 13th edition, conveniently, Dana had quite the revelation to share: her home contained within it a portal for disembodied spirits exhibiting poltergeist-like behaviour.
Said Dana:
“It seemed like darker energies came. There were just smells and rattling and really really scary stuff.”
The smell was likely the lingering stench of your husband’s rancid humanitarian beliefs, Dana. As for the unexplained rattling, perhaps you’ve stacked your self-importance just a smidgen too high. Maybe it was the skeletons in the closet.
To those distressed at Dana’s terrified plight, fear not! The Ultimate Warrior returned from another plane of existence to combat the evil. Who better a force for good than the man who referred to Droz as “the cripple”, and maintained that “queering don’t make the world work?
“You could feel Warrior. You could feel and you could smell him…you could smell him in the house, and he was fighting and he was battling, and it went on and on and on….when I woke up in the morning I expected to see my whole hallway in shambles and there was not a thing out of place; but, a sense of his triumph.”
So, the Warrior came back and went over the poltergeists in a sh*tty squash, presumably having held the promoter to ransom.
Somebody is on another plane of reality, and it ain’t the Warrior.