5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (March 15)
1. Enzo Amore Turns Babyface (!!!!!!!!!!!)
…as a result of the best patter you will hear all year.
Responding to Simon Gotch’s own incredible burial of the Realest Guy In Da Room, in which the former Vaudevillain claimed Amore, “a f*cking abortion,” had once “broken his leg trying to counter a wrist lock”, Enzo had the following to say, relaying the NXT promo class story in full gimmick:
“Let me tell you somethin’ about Simon Gosh. Simon Gosh has gotta pair o’ t*tties like a 65 year-old woman, how you doin’.”
In the most unexpected development of all times—just last week, we buried Enzo for his criminal lack of wrestling knowledge—Enzo Amore is now a hero.
There’s something so wonderful about the quiet “How you doin’?” at the end, there. Enzo adds it purely as an additional, scene-setting aside, to add realism to the tale. It is weaponised as the most rhetorical question ever posed, for we know precisely how Simon “Gosh” was doin’.
He was dying inside.
This is a wonderful wrestling moment that makes you so, so glad you chose to follow This Great Sport, and not Star Wars or some sh*t. You’d never get Mark Hamill saying that James Earl Jones had a c*ck like a pre-schooler, how you doin’.
Joey Janela needs to get Simon Grimm Vs. nZo booked.
NOW.