5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Nov 9)
2. Ryback Gets Woke
Ryback, post-WWE, reigned supreme as the top heel of the wrestling Internet.
Blamed for accelerating CM Punk's departure through his dangerous work, the Big Guy also drew sighs of despair by laying claim to a whole host of deluded inventions. Did you know that Ryback came up with the Shield's Triple Powerbomb spot, and that he was due to squash AJ Styles at WrestleMania 32? Ryback drew comparisons to Goldberg throughout his WWE run, but really, he was closer to Hulk Hogan: their Reality On A Pole match went to a non-finish when that guy from King Of The Ring 1999 kept raising it beyond their grasp.
Ryback also bemoaned the Women's Revolution last year because the women of WWE don't "shake their asses". But, incredibly, he is somewhat woke now; responding to a Twitter user who wondered whether the Big Guy shared Austin 'Your Gay Look' Aries' homophobia, Ryback disclosed that he holds "no hate" towards the GAY COMMUNITY?!
"Wank away brother!" Ryback also wrote, before monetising the moment by releasing a t-shirt. So it's official: you are now free to masturbate over Ryback, irrespective of your gender.
Just remember to say Finish! It! during the vinegar strokes for maximum authenticity.