5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Oct 12)
DX and the Bothers of Destruction AREN'T Dinosaurs. The Dinosaurs actually went away.
On Saturday, WWE presented Super Show-Down. It wasn't clear, exactly, what sort of event we were in for: a genuine pay-per-view extravaganza, or a glorified house show.
The events in Melbourne were canonical to flagship programming going forward, far more than on 205 Live, on which its benevolent General Manager masquerades as a heel on Monday nights. If this Drake Maverick stuff lasts two years, he might even end up turning more times than The Big Show.
But, equally, John Cena and Bobby Lashley Vs. Elias and Kevin Owens was unadulterated house show fare. There's a line, from the 2001 film Donnie Darko, that your writer shouted at Cena once he'd hung up on his phoned-in performance with his abysmal new comedy finisher. AJ Styles Vs. Samoa Joe, the worst match of their trilogy, was nonetheless worthwhile PPV fare. The opening SmackDown Tag Team Title match was barely TV quality. Asuka and Ember Moon's defeat to the IIconics was lifeless, and the strange anticlimax that was Daniel Bryan Vs. The Miz resonated as a poor TV angle.
The main event of the show, however, settled everything. This wasn't a glorified house show. It wasn't even a mere pay-per-view. It was every great WrestleMania classic rolled into one...!
5. Triple H & The Undertaker Go 27 Minutes In 2018
Triple H, possibly compensating for something, really likes it when his matches go long.
The Undertaker, meanwhile, is a mummy. He used to wear a fake teardrop tattoo, way back in the day. This usually symbolises a lengthy prison stint, or that the wearer has committed murder. 'Taker has done neither, and it's still more fitting than the 'PRIDE' ink daubed on his abdomen.
So, hubris + Bernie = a half-hour slog that eroded the legend of both men. This was peak, parody Triple H. He went half an hour with a broomstick in Melbourne, still under the impression that he is Ric Flair 15 years after he bored everybody to tears with his arrogant tribute act.
Look, there were some heart-stopping moments in this match, moments that echoed the glorious past shared between the three legends and Kane. Triple H's Old School attempt was clever heel stuff, and good narrative layering. It p*ssed off and mobilised 'Taker to an extent that he even promised/threatened to pull off his over-the-top-rope plancha in retaliation. He didn't go through with it, but at that point, it felt like they were going all out to deliver a worthy addition to their canon.
The problem is that they went all out. For half an hour. In 2018.
'Taker brutalised Trips with brutal back-first chair shots in a callback to 'Mania XXVII. 'Taker even did his 'Mania 25 Tombstone kickout face, which was f*cking optimistic. That was like Heidenreich cosplaying as Hawk. The last two, woefully unnecessary thirds of the match were equally embarrassing. 'Taker looked as bad here as he did at WrestleMania XXX, and he was concussed in New Orleans. He used to roll his eyes into the back of his head to convey a sense of supernatural intimidation; now, utterly gassed, he does it involuntary, unable to cope with the rigours of war.
It was a sad end to 'Taker's unparalleled run, and sadder still, it wasn't the end; we're in for more of this in Saudi Arabia.