5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Sept 21)
2. FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!
You may remember that, just last year, WWE finally realised the long-simmering rumours and promoted a show under the Starrcade banner. It was meant to be alright, but since they never bothered to broadcast it on the Network, we'll never know. Old WCW alumni Dustin Rhodes went over NWA disciple Dash Wilder, JCP legend Arn Anderson blasted Dolph Ziggler with a spinebuster. That was about the extent of the effort.
Actually, you thick c*nts, you won't remember that at all - because you are WWE fans. Per the video WWE produced and released to the US Bank Arena's Twitter page, the site of this year's event, WWE is presenting the show...for the first time ever!
Good God. This is ridiculous, even by WWE standards. How stupid do they think we are? To answer that question, let's attempt to work out what the f*ck actually happened here through deductive reasoning:
- WWE deems us too thick to remember (grimly plausible).
- WWE deems the debut of an existing show in a new location worth the trademark marketing overdrive (grimly plausible).
- WWE, in the absence of any substantive stories, just uses "FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER" on its video assets as a placeholder (grimly plausible).
- WWE produces so much content that last year's event has long been forgotten (grimly plausible).
That wasn't even the most eye-rolling bit; the show is described in the hype video as "the totally awesome radical phenomenon".
Starrcade was the monumentally important precursor to WrestleMania; it wasn't the f*cking Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.