5 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Sept 28)
Has WWE entered NEGLIGENCE MOOOOODE with Brie Bella?
Every now and then, we are treated to one of those magical "Vince McMahon is legitimately batsh*t crazy" stories.
You know the type.
Vince once ate a burrito without knowing what a burrito was; when a writer pitched the Eddie Guerrero/Big Show burrito spiking angle, Vince, unaware of the foodstuff he was stuffing into his mouth, initially rejected the pitch. He once asked the released Jimmy Wang Yang, visiting friends backstage to impress a new girlfriend, to run through some rehearsal spots with Shawn Michaels, presumably under the impression that he was Funaki. Indeed, that isn't even satire: Vince once confused Michael Tarver for Shelton Benjamin, and his daughter for a business genius...
...and on object of sexual desire: yes, infamously, he once wanted to plant her with a(nother) open-mouthed kiss as pretext for a ratings grab. Never change, Vince! Actually, please do change. Constable Corbin is the most tired version of the most tired storytelling trope in all of modern wrestling. Improve your sleep pattern. That would be a start.
Vince considers the involuntary biological act of sneezing - as opposed to the XFL - an act of failure. He also would not sign Gail Kim until he was absolutely certain men would jerk off to her under the advisement of - who else? - Jim Ross.
This week, we learned of one from a quite unexpected source...
5. Vince McMahon Is A Weird Guy: Then. Now. Forever.
On the fan questions portion of a recent 'Prime Time With Sean Mooney" podcast episode, the former WWF personality shed light on a very strange encounter with his former employer.
Way back when, Mooney interviewed a beaten-down 'Macho Man' Randy Savage in a backstage segment. Savage was selling the sh*t out of something, all "broken" and "kneeling". Vince looks directly at Mooney...and proceeds to hug himself. Mooney, naturally, is nonplussed. Vince is a weird guy, and Mooney has no clue what he's doing. Does Vince want him to console Savage? That wouldn't have went down too well. Savage was so paranoid that he'd probably have decked Mooney for playing the concerned best friend, even if Elizabeth was nowhere in sight.
No: that was Vince's signal to wrap the segment up. Get it? He wrapped his own arms around himself! How could Mooney misinterpret that?
As Mooney mentioned, Vince probably should have used the industry standard "throat-slit" gesture - God knows he's done it in the direction of virtually every performer who's ever made a name for themselves outside of WWE - to avoid any confusion.
Does this explain other inscrutable phenomena? Maybe Vince is telling Finn Bálor to simply enjoy himself, and not look like Laura Dern as directed by David Lynch in INLAND EMPIRE, every time he says "big smile out there".
Or maybe he's just batsh*t insane.