6 Most Insane Things Happening In Wrestling Right Now (Oct 27)
4. What's My Age Again?
That header image, of Elias attempting to avoid vegetables thrown by babyface hopeful Jason Jordan, isn’t one of those crazy photoshop galleries WWE released a couple of months back. This isn’t ‘If WWE Superstars Were Vegetables’. There’s no Bo Dallas moonlighting as a carrot. There’s no lanky, green Baron Corbin masquerading as asparagus. There’s no Jinder Mahal reimagined as an onion because what he’s done to the once-prestigious WWE Championship makes you want to f*cking cry.
No, this was an actual thing that happened. At Sunday’s Bizarro World TLC pay-per-view, WWE - Vince McMahon, let’s face it - genuinely thought his audience would get a kick out of watching Jason Jordan, who we are meant to cheer, interrupt Elias’ concert by throwing vegetables at him. Like he was a loveable scamp, and not a childish brat.
Writers, whenever possible, try not to use the personal pronoun as a crutch because, honestly, what do you care what I think? One of you pops up on every article I write just to call me a c*nt (thank you for continuing to enable my life, incidentally).
But no. I’m 32 years old. Married with a family. I am doing alright by the standards of An Adult. And yet I’m still watching CBeebies-level sh*te hours after I don’t have to because Vince McMahon takes South Park’s portrayal of Rob Schneider at face value.