7 Ups & 6 Downs From WWE Raw (Dec 6)

3. WWE-Speak For Morons

Randy Orton Riddle RK-Bro
WWE.com

We all know WWE has its own unique language and verbal idiosyncrasies when it comes to how they talk about wrestling, er, sports entertainment, and their wrestlers, er, competitors.

And while this writer just mostly rolls his eyes and lets a lot of it slide, this dandy Monday from WWE windup mouthpiece Byron Saxton took the cake: “It’s four teams all competing for a chance to stake their claim in the tag team title picture and an eventual opportunity against the tag team champions, RK-Bro.”

Catch that? It’s not “four teams battling to be #1 contenders to face RK-Bro for the Raw Tag Team Championship.” It’s four teams competing for a chance to stake their claim so they get an eventual opportunity.

Jeez-us. No one speaks like this. Not now, not ever. So why would you assume that anyone listening to it would say, “Oh yeah, they’re fighting for a chance to stake their claim! I’m so there!”

It’s verbal indoctrination as employees are forced to talk like corporate dopes rather than real humans, and it just makes the product a homogenized, boring, meaningless mess.

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Contributor

Scott is a former journalist and longtime wrestling fan who was smart enough to abandon WCW during the Monday Night Wars the same time as the Radicalz. He fondly remembers watching WrestleMania III, IV, V and VI and Saturday Night's Main Event, came back to wrestling during the Attitude Era, and has been a consumer of sports entertainment since then. He's written for WhatCulture for more than a decade, establishing the Ups and Downs articles for WWE Raw and WWE PPVs/PLEs and composing pieces on a variety of topics.