When the UK crowds don't give much of a damn about Raw, you're in trouble. The usually insanely delightful audience just wasn't feeling much of WWE this week. It's hard to blame them, because, despite that recent shakeup, things just aren't that interesting at the moment. And that's crazy.
Just think, Kurt Angle and The Hardys returned to the promotion a little over a month ago and it doesn't matter. Nakamura has finally made the main roster. Finn Balor has come back from injury, and yet, people are tuning out. I blame the recent epidemic of the "1...2...TOO SWEET" thing after every single pinfall for at least some of that.
Over on Impact, I’m not sure whether Josh Mathews should be scolded for asking why Marshe Rocket deserved a Grand Championship Title match or praised for making the booking committee question themselves. You gotta feel bad for Pope, though, for trying to come up with an answer. He stumbled and said Rocket has picked up a few victories lately. THAT’S A DAMN LIE POPE! According to ProFightDB, the man has literally won ZERO matches on Impact. Ever.
The Fashion Files was about half as funny as it was last week. That's due in part to WWE's obsession with having a wrestler dress up as Sherlock Holmes when they're in the UK because it's the first thing they think of to do and then they think no more. Damien Sandow has done it. R-Truth has done it. And now Fandango. That's the real crime.
But let's not waste any more time. Let's make like Robbie Rage and Kenny Kaos and High Voltage our way through wrestling's worst of the week.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com