8 Wrestling Gimmicks That Wouldn't Work In 2016

4. The Animal Carrier

The Mountie Wwe
WWE.com

Okay, it probably would work. If you had a guy called Archie 'The Lobster' Cateridge or Marcus 'The Marmoset' Matthews, and they brought their beast to the ring, people would be behind them to a degree. The only problem is that lurking behind the audience would be all sorts of legal issues, not to mention the travel problems of having to constantly lug a lobster through customs in airports.

We've had Jake with his snake, we had Davey with his bulldog, and we even had Ricky with his dragon, but these days are done. Any animal reference in professional wrestling characters today comes only in metaphorical and analogical form, such as Marty 'The Moth' Martinez in Lucha Underground.

I mean, imagine if Marty came to the ring with a moth. That wouldn't be so threatening. Animal gimmicks only work if they are enthusiastically played, or if it is Lucha Underground and the performer is literally the animal.

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Born in the middle of Wales in the middle of the 1980's, John can't quite remember when he started watching wrestling but he has a terrible feeling that Dino Bravo was involved. Now living in Prague, John spends most of his time trying to work out how Tomohiro Ishii still stands upright. His favourite wrestler of all time is Dean Malenko, but really it is Repo Man. He is the author of 'An Illustrated History of Slavic Misery', the best book about the Slavic people that you haven't yet read. You can get that and others from www.poshlostbooks.com.