9 Things That Could Be In Erick Rowan's Cage

Erick Rowan was worried.

He'd just ended his on-screen friendship with Daniel Bryan and a short feud in which he unsuccessfully tried to murder Roman Reigns several times, eventually opting for a match to settle their differences because that's how the world of pro-wrestling works. But now he was without a story.

He'd been in this position before, of course. As a former Wyatt Family and Bludgeon Brothers member, he'd learned that even a prop-based gimmick is better than being cast adrift, lucky to end up on the abandoned island of Main Event. So, when creative approached him with a cage covered with a burlap sack, Rowan leaped at the chance to do something, anything, with it. There was just one question.

"What's in the cage?"

Vince looked down on him from his papier-mâché throne of unreleased and artificially extended wrestler contracts mixed with the tears of those snowflake fans who just didn't get the hilarity of cuckolding storylines and grown men wetting themselves.

"That's what they'll all ask," he growled. With his finger on America's cultural pulse, Vince knew that the audience would relate this storyline to that new movie he'd just seen, starring the always unproblematic Kevin Spacey. In that, Brad Pitt sent chills up Vince's spine when he asked: "What's in the box?" Now, he would bring that to every city in America, leaving the audience chanting "What's in the cage?"

Much like Gwyneth Paltrow's head, we haven't actually seen the answer yet, but these nine things are as likely as anything else.

Let's get the simplest and most likely answer out of the way first. The cage contains nothing. Not only does it contain nothing during the vignettes Rowan films or the matches he carries it down to the ring for, but it never will contain anything. There's no plan and, therefore, no payoff to the plan.

Much like ECIII when he hit the main roster, the cage will simply disappear and never again be mentioned outside of "Remember when..." wrestling articles. At some point, a commentator who isn't Michael Cole will slip up and mention it in passing, and then that man will be burned in a Wicker Man to tie into the latest film Vince has seen

Seven years later, Rowan will be coming out of an extended lower card run on Main Event, and he'll be glad to be featured in someone else's feud on one of the big three shows. For one single episode, he'll walk out alongside someone who isn't currently in WWE, and he'll be carrying the cage, then neither he nor it will ever be seen again.