Every Cinematic Wrestling Match Ever - Ranked!
1. The Firefly Funhouse
Have you tried to describe this to your friends yet?
A 42-year-old man dresses up as Hulk Hogan, a rapper, and his 24-year-old self to battle a magical children's entertainer/ demonic clown. In the end he beats up a puppet of a hungry pig and it's the most profound piece of long term, nuanced storytelling the company has done in years.
Entire essays will be written about this match. For decades to come, it'll be a moment that's harked back to as proof WWE are capable of giving their audience credit and not, as they have done so relentlessly, feeling the need to chew their food for them and dribble it slowly back down their mouths. They can just let performers tell a story that's been gradually, quietly written over entire careers, not spelled out in one promo a week before a show.
And that story is this: John Cena is a hero to millions, but always was a privileged, insecure, piece of s**t. He was handed every opportunity by a powerful man who thought he could make a lot of money off the back of him, never had the courage to challenge either himself or the status quo, and in the process buried an entire generation of talent beneath him. This has been the narrative around his career for years and now, working with a Bray Wyatt on the crest of a creative golden period, he's been brave enough to turn it into unmissable pro-wrestling theatre.
Arriving as Prototype John Cena to recreate his debut defeat against Kurt Angle, having his failed relationship with Nikki Bella referenced, then being unable to deviate from bad rhyming promos as the Dr of Thuganomics, before coming out as nWo Hogan to show how he could have revived his career by turning heel, this was a tale 18 years in the making. His fears and his failures, both professional and personal, built us to the eventual reveal of The Fiend, who arrived to put him out of his misery.
It necessitates discussion, it demands rewatches, and it's the absolute best of both cinema and pro-wrestling.