8. Clowns R' Us - 1994
Eurgh. The mid 1990's were a pretty rough time for the World Wrestling Federation. The roster wasn't exactly what you would call deep, and Survivor Series 1994 exemplified this. It was a five match card, including a 35-minute Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund submission match that saw Backlund claim the WWF Championship. Still, nothing on the show came close to this monstrosity. Doink and Jerry Lawler were feuding going into the event, and as such they captained opposite teams in an elimination match. They were accompanied by three doppelgänger midgets each, for a 16-minute snoozefest that someone must have enjoyed. Doink was joined by Dink, Wink and Pink to go up against Lawler, Queasy, Sleazy and Cheesy. I feel stupider just for writing that. Doink was the first eliminated, and each of his minions followed in fairly quick succession. Once the match was over all of the midgets turned their attention to Lawler, leading to him getting a pie in the face from Doink. Terrible. Just terrible.
John Bills
Contributor
Born in the middle of Wales in the middle of the 1980's, John can't quite remember when he started watching wrestling but he has a terrible feeling that Dino Bravo was involved. Now living in Prague, John spends most of his time trying to work out how Tomohiro Ishii still stands upright. His favourite wrestler of all time is Dean Malenko, but really it is Repo Man. He is the author of 'An Illustrated History of Slavic Misery', the best book about the Slavic people that you haven't yet read. You can get that and others from www.poshlostbooks.com.
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