Goldberg's 9 WWE Losses - From Cleanest To Screwiest
2. Vs. Triple H Vs. Kane (Armageddon 2003 World Heavyweight Title Triple Threat Match)
This match was as nightmarish as the match graphic suggested.
Not because Kane plays a demonic character, but because he was one of the most drab professional wrestlers of all-time.
The Triple Threat started when, as these things tend to start, the two heels ganged up on the babyface. Nobody wanted to see Goldberg sell for too long, so WWE had the genius idea in December of 2003 to have him sell for two heels in one match, one of whom was punishingly dull when working a heat sequence.
The other was Kane.
Goldberg didn't sell particularly well. He just lowered himself to his knee and shook his head from side to side, eliciting zero sympathy nor conveying any sense of pain. The match was vaguely tolerable when Goldberg was on offence, but Kane was always there to cut him off, and it went 20 minutes. 20 minutes of interminable, unflattering clichéd Triple Threat tedium. Triple H and Kane actually fell out mid-match!
A sad end to a friendship forged when one had accused the other of necrophilia.
Triple H pinned Goldberg for the Big Gold following interference from Evolution, which was actually quite light. Also, they held Kane back from saving Goldberg in what was an ill-advised visual. Unless the point was to bury Goldberg alive, in which case it was well-advised.
That's the way to do it.
Cleanliness rating: 20%