It’s Official: The Supernatural Has No Place In WWE

WWE in its own canon is meant to represent the pinnacle of sports entertainment. It is meant to exist in a shared, televised universe as a coherent and feasible reality, otherwise the point of it all, winning championships in a battle to determine the best athletes, is nullified. WWE's overt supernatural leanings destroy this idea entirely.

Here's the subjective part: everything vaguely supernatural to have taken place on WWE TV recently has been absolutely woeful. The horror is not good horror. It is amateurish and hopelessly derivative fare that would never in one million years make it to celluloid. The clichés are rotten, and the entire purpose is defeated because the material is not remotely scary. It is surely impossible to be frightened, anxious, sickened or jolted upright by anything involving the Fiend, Alexa Bliss, or Lilly. Watch this.

On the April 26 RAW, WWE, purveyors now of horror cinema, attempted to set your heart racing with a jump scare - this, after Alexa asked you to say Lilly's name three times because one of the poor tw*ts expected to satisfy Vince McMahon's infantile mind has seen Candyman. Alexa asked you to think of something "peaceful," as images of a glade and the ocean transitioned across the screen. Then, Lilly the doll appeared in what was meant to be a jarring cut and screeched. This was pure, unadulterated sh*t. They didn't even mix the audio correctly to lull you into a different mood, and the jump scare wasn't scary because a doll nobody had been conditioned to fear just made an annoying noise that was barely louder than an NXT commentator.

WWE is so inept at this thing they shouldn't be doing that they can't even get the easiest tropes right.

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