Predicting The Quality Of All 13 WWE WrestleMania 39 Matches

7. Austin Theory Vs. John Cena

Cody Rhodes Roman Reigns five stars
WWE.com

In which WWE will book the loudest match of Austin Theory's career, and the fans can then turn around and say: "See? Austin Theory is a star!"

The problem is that this will be the loudest match of Austin Theory's career.

What do WWE see in him?

Randy Orton felt like a natural immediately. Roman Reigns had "it" when he was in the Shield, even if it took WWE six years to tap into what that was as a singles player. Austin Theory just has a deeply generic quality to him. He isn't outstanding at anything. He can recite scripted material smoothly enough, and some of his moves are quite cool, but he lacks presence and any semblance of that intangible essence that every top star has exuded. If you built a passable midcard talent from the ground up, he'd look like Austin Theory.

And yet, the man is destined to win countless championships and read his Wikipedia page out loud for the next decade.

The very best possible version of this match is a "Well sh*t, look at the big super-indie moves on John!" 2015 special, but can Cena go to that level eight years later?

It's doubtful.

Solid but very loud is the absolute highest ceiling here.

Predicted Star Rating: ★★★½

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!