Predicting The Quality Of All 13 WWE WrestleMania 39 Matches

5. Rey Mysterio Vs. Dominik Mysterio

Cody Rhodes Roman Reigns five stars
WWE.com

WWE's exposition-heavy soap opera melodrama, subjectively, isn't good. It's corny, it's often badly performed, and it doesn't feel remotely intense nor believable.

"My deadbat dad Rey Mysterio" is simply, objectively terrible dialogue. It is the sort of line that good TV shows have written to satirise terrible TV shows for decades, and WWE is penning this sh*t with zero self-awareness. It's almost impressively bad.

The thing is, somehow, Rey Vs. Dominik Mysterio is actually a triumph of pro wrestling promotion. It's a riff on Bret Hart refusing to fight his younger brother Owen, with the pacing of Sabu Vs. Taz, and a unique multimedia approach to its key angles shot during various holidays.

It also knows exactly what it is.

This is crucial; Dom is a little bastard who is meant to be bad at this. It's tonally different to Bret Vs. Owen. You aren't being asked to invest in a battle between who is the better man. You're meant to invest in a perversely fun ass-kicking. The technical match quality is almost immaterial, which is just as well, since it doesn't have a hope in hell of bettering the WrestleMania X opener.

It won't be as good as Rey's best matches, but it might be as over and as loud as anything he's ever done.

Predicted Star Rating: ★★★¾

Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!