Predicting The Quality Of All 15 WWE WrestleMania 35 Matches
14. KICKOFF - André The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
"How do you bet against Braun Strowman heading into the André The Giant Memorial Battle Royal on Sunday? Doesn't matter who's in the field."
Michael Cole, RAW, April 1.
Revealing an unwitting truth, Cole has a point, not that he should have actually shared it: this is a vehicle designed to sell a vehicle - the Wrekkin' Slam Mobile. This will manifest as a one-plot story in which Braun blitzes through the field, conflating Andrade with Viktor, before the hosts of Saturday Night Live get those hands - if in fact they don't actually win in a bid to secure temporary social media buzz.
This is a cynical take. The last five-to-seven minutes of most Battle Royals are packed with inventive spots and shocking eliminations - "No, not Konnor!" - and generously, there is a wicked pleasure to be had when paying strict attention to the order of eliminations. Which afterthought does WWE give the least amount of a sh*t about?
Imagine being eliminated first from the André The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, man. The cruel among you might even derive some pleasure from the boring bit.
I will.
I will derive some pleasure from the boring bit.