Real Reason Bray Wyatt's Firefly Fun House Is WWE RAW's Best Segment In Years

by Michael Sidgwick
Bray Wyatt
WWE

Pre-Jon Moxley shooting season, that was a slightly exaggerated joke rooted in cynicism. Now, it is the disturbing truth behind WWE’s creative process.

If Vince McMahon wanted to fat-shame Bray Wyatt, he’d f*cking fat-shame Bray Wyatt. He has done precisely that with Kevin Owens, who he has referred to through various conduits as “Cartman” and “the Michelin Man” in recent years.

If Vince McMahon wanted to have Bray Wyatt dance, he’d have Carmella as his partner.

If Vince McMahon wanted to repackage Bray Wyatt, he’d turn a cult leader with formidable psychological prowess into a teleporting 50/50 doofus.

Every WWE performer is a puppet in Vince McMahon’s world. In Bray Wyatt’s world, Vince McMahon is the puppet. Bray Wyatt didn’t let Vince McMahon in—he has only let him peer through the window into a creative process of his own making.

For now.

On May 20, the singer of the jaunty theme tune encouraged us to “come along and throw your cares away.” Bray Wyatt signs off every episode by asking us all to “let him in”. Everybody wants to believe, but belief is impossible. The grim spectre of Vince McMahon constantly threatens to poke his head around the door.

Sadly, his potential remodelling of the Firefly Fun House is the real monster lurking underneath the bed.

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Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and surefire Undisputed WWE Universal Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!