Real Reason Bray Wyatt's Firefly Fun House Is WWE RAW's Best Segment In Years

Sister Abigail’s will once seemed to control Wyatt. On the May 13 episode, she became a terrified instrument of Wyatt’s imagination, its jaw dropping in fear at Wyatt’s metamorphosis from children’s entertainer to Fiend. Rambin’ Rabbit reflects Wyatt’s tiresome gibberish promos, and the puppet, like his old style, is long in the tooth. Mercy The Buzzard is as gruff and cynical and short-tempered as the fireflies that failed to light up for Wyatt’s latter matches.

“I despise Ramblin’ Rabbit,” he said.

These props were not concocted by the ailing mind of Vince McMahon. The reassuring theme underpinning the Firefly Fun House—the cruel, potentially fatalistic theme—is that the old incarnation of the Bray Wyatt character was bullsh*t. This new, Joker-masked, moray eel-toothed monster is never again going to revert back to that “pathetic slob loser”.

Bray Wyatt visualised that promise, on this week’s episode, by removing a bar of chocolate from the food-stuffed mouth of ‘Huskus The Pig Boy”—a puppet avatar that represented his old Husky Harris character. Were Vince to rid Wyatt of the bullsh*t, he would, quite literally, have handed Wyatt a pooper scooper, and made him empty into a clear, oversized plastic bag on RAW’s entrance ramp—a plastic bag big enough for the slack-jawed yokels to comprehend. A plastic bag with a lantern printed on it, just to make it abundantly clear that the plastic bag does, in fact, belong to Bray Wyatt.

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